I Can't Cope Without Coping
by K.H.Kurosaki
Summary: Dean's day has come and gone, leaving Sam alone. Or is he? Ruby has something up her sleeves that might just help mend the broken brothers. Warning: WINCEST


In my break from building a mystery i have created a oneshot. Yay me! Hopefully I'll get back to Building a Mystery soon.

Disclaimer: Sam and Dean aren't mine. If they were the show would be_ slightly_ different. coughwincestcough

He couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it. How could he fight this war alone? Why should he have to? Sam looked back at Dean's still body lying on his bed. His breathing stopped. His heart stilled. His life gone. "Damn it!" Sam yelled, throwing the now empty bottle of rum at the far wall. He watched as the bottle shattered like his soul had hours ago. Sam looked at the gun in his hand, 'I can't win this war alone.' Sam thought brokenly, loading the gun.

"You don't want to do that Sammy," he heard Dean's voice in his head. Sam looked again at Dean's cold body.

"Yes Dean, I do," Sam sobbed.

"Sam! Don't!" Ruby cried as she entered the room, "Please Sam, put the gun down."

"I can't do it Ruby. I can't fight the war on my own. I won't fight alone," Sam's broken reply came.

"Dean's not gone yet," Ruby said, using her strength to remove the gun from Sam's hands, "At least, not forever. If I can make it out of hell then so can Dean. Please Sam; let me get him out of hell"

"You can't save him. I couldn't save him," Sam sobbed, "I don't deserve to live. It should be me burning in hell. Dean doesn't deserve that." Sam was falling to piece before her very eyes, and they seemed nothing she could do to hold him together.

"That's not entirely true Sam, you don't deserve to go to hell either," Ruby almost pleaded while picking up the elder Winchester's body.

"I'm going to hell Ruby, I'm part demon, I have demon's blood in my veins. At least when I die I'll be with Dean," Sam's voice no longer wavered, and his tears had ceased. The light left his eyes as he stared at nothing.

"Just stay here Sam," Ruby said, "I'll bring back Dean, I promise." She had to fight back tears when he just sat there, eyes staring at nothing. 'How could we ever have thought you'd be able to fight all on your own?' Ruby thought before she pleaded with the broken shell of a man, "Just give me three days, just three days." Ruby carried Dean's body to the car and sped off to the nearest gates to hell. It was at least a full day's trip away.

It took Ruby a day to get to the cemetery. "C'mon Dean, you better make it back here in tact," Ruby thought aloud before stated the incantation to summon Dean's soul. Ruby looked up from her makeshift alter when she felt a presence before her amongst the chaos she had released. "Dean?" she questioned cautiously. The spirit walked to his body and possessed it, bringing the dead cells back to life. His eyes opened, revealing black, before he pushed himself off the ground. Finally his eyes returned to their normal hazel hue, searching for someone.

"Ruby? Where's Sam?" Dean questioned, his brother the first thing on his mind, "Is Sammy okay?" Dean wasn't certain how long he had been gone, but he had managed to remain himself. Thoughts of Sam held him together, keeping hell from breaking him.

"He's in the hotel room, I hope," Ruby replied gathering her things and throwing them in the back seat of the car, "We have to go now, he may not be there when we get back. At least, he may not be there alive. Sam was a real mess when I left. It's been a few days now, and he's fallen apart." Dean's heart broke at the news of Sammy. While Dean had held together in hell literally, Sam hadn't made it through his own hell. A hell that Dean was far too familiar with. Dean automatically headed for the driver's side door when Ruby stopped him, "Seeing as you don't know where we're going, perhaps I should drive? I'll get there as quickly as possible." Dean almost thought of protesting, but he needed to see Sam, needed to see his baby bro.

"Fine, but you better explain everything on the way," Dean glared and they were off.

After a day spent in silence Dean and Ruby finally arrived at the motel room. Dean rushed to the door, not knowing what to expect when he opened the door. His stomach churned at the site before him. Sam sat in the middle of the room, a broken bottle at his right. He was in the same clothes that Dean remembered him in, which couldn't be a good thing. Sam was deathly silent, and his back was to the door. "Sam?" Dean asked quietly, not wanting to startle his brother. Sam gave no indication that he heard Dean's call. Dean walked slowly to his side and finally knelt down in front of his brother. "Sammy, look at me," he ordered as he cupped Sam's face with his hands. Sam's eyes were dull and unfocused. Dean hugged his brother to him, the embrace almost tight enough to be painful.

"Dean?" Sam asked softly.

"Yeah Sammy, it's really me," Dean answered, never loosening his grip. He knew he was his brother's life line, knew he was holding Sam afloat. Sam pulled back enough to look Dean in the eyes, searching for the answers to the questions in his mind. Dean could only guess at what they were. His eyes focused, the clarity returning, but still they remained dark. Sam was having trouble believing what he was seeing, and Dean could understand that. Dean had to prove to Sam that he was real, that he was here. Dean knew he had to reassure him like he had three years ago after Jess's death. "Sammy, I'm here. You don't have to be alone in the dark now. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," and then he placed a kiss on Sam's lips. He started gentle, knowing how to free Sam from his doubts. He locked his eyes with Sam's and watched the fire return to them. Finally Sam returned the kiss, making it passionate and needy. When the need for oxygen finally forced their lips to part Sam all but tackled Dean, knocking him onto his back.

"Dean," Sam sobbed out, "Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean." It had becomes Sam's mantra. It flowed from his lips, and with each uttering of his name Sam's shaking increased.

"Shh, it's okay Sammy, I'm here," Dean soothed as he rubbed circles into Sam's shoulders with one hand, the other cradling his brothers head, "I got you Sammy, I got you." Dean held his shaking brother for a small eternity until the sobbing and shaking ebbed off.

"You're real," Sam smiled, his eyes drinking in the site of Dean.

"Well of course I am Sammich," Dean smiled back.

"Don't you ever do that again you jerk," Sam laughed still hugging his brother.

"Whatever you say…" Dean smirked. Sam would be okay, Dean could feel it. Now they could be together. Dean's deal no longer hovered over their heads. The sun was finally shining on them, "Bitch."


End file.
